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Something about stream of consciousness...

I've been reading back through some of the old posts and while that poor, young girl was so very troubled, my goodness she did produce some decent writing.

Something happened when Eric re-entered my life: I immediately began to shrink.  From the very beginning it was about him. I made it about him.  Some part of me still believed that love meant sacrifce for the sake of cooperation.  In no time at all, I found I'd stopped *talking*.  I didn't talk about all the things that pass through my brain, my observations of the world around me, my opinions and my experience.  The worse things got, the less I spoke.

These days I find myself wordless too easily.  So much unexpressed; such quiet.  Like my tongue has been cut out.

So I return here to this place where my ideas flowed unchecked to see if perhaps I left my voice here in one of these boxes...


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 21st, 2015 03:06 am (UTC)
You'll find it.
May. 22nd, 2015 12:09 am (UTC)
It's better here.
Don't get me wrong, I like (to an extent) the social aspect of FB and being able to have group there for stuff that isn't for a general audience.
But here it is quieter, the words are more personal, and over all it means more.
Jun. 8th, 2015 01:56 pm (UTC)
Agreed; this is a more meditative space, no prepackaged, automatic Greek chorus chomping at the bit to flood a post with voiceless "Likes".

You'll get there. You've already returned to yourself so much already, gotten so much stronger. This is a safe, cool, dark place, an old and familiar place. You'll get there. You're already through the door and up the stairs, already cozied into the best chair, cocktail and laptop ready to go.

Start with a whisper. You'll get there.

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )